I refuse to be celery!

“Awesome things will happen today if you choose to not be a miserable cow!”

-I only wish I knew the author of this

Whelp, it’s official! I weigh the most I have ever weighed! Granted, I semi-just had a child (about a year ago) so maybe that’s it! It could also be that it’s still winter and I’m rocking that after Christmas gut. Or perhaps, it’s the 3 doughnuts I ate yesterday.  When changing my shirt this morning, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror that was actually quite frightening. Don’t get me wrong, I’m still awesome and absolutely beautiful but ugh, I have some major work to do on myself.  My stomach and thighs resemble the celery stalk in the plant/red food coloring experiment.  You know the one where you see how plants can absorb water by putting a celery stalk into a cup of red water and watch the red lines creep up the stalk. Yeah, my body looks like that! Stupid stretch marks.

I can’t believe how easy it is to let yourself go. It doesn’t help that I have a supportive husband that makes it his obligation to tell me how gorgeous I am on a daily basis, and of course, it’s always appreciated.  But looking in the mirror is making me realize that I’m not young anymore. I don’t have a metabolism that I used to have, and dammit, I need to stop eating 3 doughnuts in one day!

So, I decided that since we did pretty well on our taxes, some new work out equipment needs to be purchased instead of that Napa Valley trip I so badly want to take. No more excuses or magic pills that will melt away the pounds. I need to be disciplined and get my butt on the elliptical! Ok, after work I am buying one!  This is my written testimony. I Megan Rohan, will wear a bathing suit (not bikini) this summer and in order to do that, I need to work out! And who knows, maybe If I get drunk enough off of my Cooper’s Hawk wine, then I’ll just think I’m in Napa. And yes, I know there is fattening sugar in wine and but I’m not trying to move mountains, just trying to drop a couple pounds.


5 thoughts on “I refuse to be celery!

  1. What an image you conjured in my mind with the red dye and celery. Ewww! Since you’ve publicly declared it, someone will remind you of your resolve as you reach for the donut, cookie, etc. But aren’t you lucky to have that man to remind you how beautiful you are.


  2. Very effective imagery conjured up. Nicely done. lol
    As I sit and stare at the four boxes of girl scout cookies in front of me on my desk- I am going to keep your post in mind and resist the temptation. Or try to…

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hysterical as usual! Two things: How am I going to choose which slice of yours will go up on the bulletin board? I don’t think any are appropriate for our kids to read! Hahaha. Also, I have an excellent elliptical in my basement. It’s 4 years old, been used maybe four times. You can come over and work out anytime you’d like. Or, we can just drink wine. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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